a K h o

high school life

Posted on: February 19, 2008

i realize a lot of my time back in high-school are wasted away doing nothing productive. sad to say, i find Malaysia’s education level lacking back then. why invest my time in studying nonsense (when it’s hardly ever applied in the real world) when i could have developed my social skills instead?

i could have been more popular. i could have made myself stand out more. i could have opted to being the class clown. i should have been more outspoken, challenging myself to be someone much much much better.

why should there be shyness instead of confidence? what is there to fear from failure? i can imagine taking myself out of the norm, going against the expected compliance of school rules and making a name of myself. it would have been fun to challenge the teachers more, to get to know my classmates more intimately, to build everlasting bonds with everyone. i want a fun school life. i want to be infectious. i want everyone to enjoy coming to school. wouldn’t that be ideal?

i think i would’ve liked to be the guy that organize events and school trips, to get the quiet and soft-spoken ones to speak up, to play matchmaker with friends. if i realized it sooner, i would’ve gone to a mixed school instead. too bad i can’t go back to those times. a big regret.

well, i’m not saying my high school life didn’t have it’s share of dramas. i think i did pretty well actually, considering i was sorta a teacher’s pet (really due to having a number of auntie’s being teachers themselves – connection!), i did get along with form 6 girls (when i was in form 5, unfortunately at the expense of not knowing my peers as well as i should have) and developed my first relationship (which lasted 2 years *sniff*) then. i could say i was really an individual, the odd one out – for a time. BUT, the experience could’ve have been different on a whole bigger scale. i’m just not satisfied for having not being a better me.

well, at least i’m enjoying myself now. doing what i like, realizing that i can never come back to this moment again. that’s important is it not? to really find a compromise to what you immerse yourself with in your day to day activities, with no regrets to look back on.

however much i miss high school life, i pray i will come out of my shell and not fumble up the precious time i have now. there’s no way of going back, i wish there was, thought.

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disclaimer

u can regard everything here as fiction, or fanfiction (me being my own fan haha), or messed up ramblings from the deranged mind of a guy in his midlife crisis. whatever. comment as u see fit. the brainless ones go to /purgatory, not that i'm saying ur a zombie. then again seeing as i'm not getting much sleep lately, i probably am one. that said, u'll realise that u can't take legal action against a zombie. cause we've gots diplomatic immuniteh. rawr.

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