a K h o

Archive for January 2008

i had a truly entertaining morning today. my colleagues and i were so engrossed with a youtube pontianak video, doing the usual act of debunking its authenticity. however, this time around the “camera guy” was actually singing to himself loudly while approaching the “entity” slowly. it was pretty convincing.

he was singing what we guessed to be the singapore anthem.

this is my country…
this is my friend…
this is my family…

something like that. he probably was doing this to keep his courage level up as he approach the pontianak. well that’s what we figured anyway.

at least till we discovered that my colleague had 2 youtube video clips unintentionally running at the same time! *facepalms* hilarious!!!

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i came home from work today to find a peculiar meal waiting for me. my dad cooked porridge for dinner, extra special porridge with century egg. so special that the content is not in its usual white, but purple.

the porridge taste like porridge.
the century egg taste like century egg.
the purple is mind-boggling.

so as i sat there munching on the purple goo, i got to thinking about how unique this meal is. never had i eaten purple colored porridge before.

i heard my friend once added banana with porridge and the color still came out white. i’ve seen fish with porridge, still the color is white. chicken? nope. lamb? same. all white. how on earth did my dad come up with this purple coloring?

i dwell on the matter for a bit and in a fleeting moment, a couple of ideas went through my mind on what it could possibly be.

no wait, that’s not right.

elmo is definitely red.

well anyway, it was an interesting 15 seconds of thought. i didn’t get it right with any of the above but i found out later the culprit are these innocent purple huan zhu’s (sweet potatoe)…

mystery solved. case closed.

dammit! actor Heath Ledger is dead! i loved him in A Knight’s Tale and applauded his acting skills in Brokeback Mountain. this aussie had such a promising career ahead of him what with the new Batman movie coming out soon. that one would surely skyrocket him to stardom. what an unfortunate turn of event.

On January 22, 2008, Ledger was found dead in his fourth-floor apartment at 421 Broome Street in the SoHo neighborhood of New York City. He was found at 3:26 p.m. EST by a housekeeper and a massage therapist, who entered the bedroom to find him face down and unconscious at the foot of his bed with sleeping pills on a nearby night table. Police said that they also found prescription medication in the bathroom and that there were “no obvious signs” of suicide, nor did they suspect foul play.

rest in peace Heath, this last laugh is for you.


you know you probably can tell a lot about a person via their email address. vaguely guessing i mean. like mine is pretty straightforward, akho@hotmail.com derive from my first initial and surname combined. not much of a sherlock holmes to figure that one out.

then there are those with strange nicknames like mooncloud@rainforest.com and masterchief@halo.com which either means the person is a bit of a wacko or he/she is probably a shaman in a previous life. to be honest, i do have a nickname myself and come to think of it, i probably fall in the wacko territory too. it’s actually a nickname i got back in my Counter-Strike days…but i shall not go into that. moving on…

then there are those alpha plus numeric combinations like jesus123@gmail.com which strangely enough, is probably a misguided (dare i say it?) catholic (there, i said it) teenager lacking creativity, when he decided to signed up with that address.

how about bob78@intel.com?

pretty obvious behind that email lies a lonely 30 year old geek working for Microsoft. apparently a tad overweight and loves pizza. come now, who else could it be? an actor? doh! no way.

littlelisa_xxx@pimpmyride.xo is most likely his other email address.

ever wondered if the Pope have an email address? i got to thinking and did some googling around. he does indeed have one. now it’s not at all exciting or what i imagined it to be like ilovejesus@holytrinity.ca or godblessyou@heavenly.uk. it’s actually pretty boring, really down to earth just plain old benedictxvi@vatican.va.

now that’s no fun is it? i would have thought the new Pope would have come up with something more groovy. if i wanted to make a difference, get the whole nation talking, why not start with a more exciting email address. i mean everyone loves the Pope. he can’t go wrong, ever.

he needs a more radical email address. one that would doubtlessly smack you in the face when you see it for the first time. an address that makes you sit up and take notice. honestly,


he’s got a whosyourdaddy@vatican.va going for him, don’t you agree?

this is taken from a forwarded email i got today…

IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE DID NOT PURCHASE A DROP OF PETROL FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES.

AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OVER 4.6 BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES. THEREFORE ’24th JANUARY ‘ HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED ‘STICK IT UP THEIR BEHIND ‘DAY AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF PETROL THAT DAY.

THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT. WAITING ON THE GOVERNMENT TO STEP IN AND CONTROL THE PRICES IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REDUCTION AND CONTROL IN PRICES THAT THE ARAB NATIONS PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO?

REMEMBER ONE THING, NOT ONLY IS THE PRICE OF PETROL GOING UP BUT AT THE SAME TIME AIRLINES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES, TRUCKING COMPANIES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES WHICH AFFECTS PRICES ON EVERYTHING THAT IS SHIPPED. THINGS LIKE FOOD, CLOTHING, BUILDING SUPPLIES MEDICAL SUPPLIES ETC. WHO PAYS IN THE END? WE DO!

WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DON’T GET THE MESSAGE AFTER ONE DAY, WE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD. FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND MAKE 24 JANUARY A DAY THAT THE CITIZENS SAY ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH’.

We forward so many junk email to many of our friends, now let us do it for some useful cause to cut down the price of the petrol……..

REMEMBER: JANUARY 24, 2008…. NO Petrol Day…!

24th January eh? no harm trying. i’ll do my part…will you do yours?

there’s something about leading a group of people in a topic of discussion especially if it’s one that was propagated by you. the feeling of being the center of attention is enrapturing, bordering to sinful bliss. from a third person’s perspective, it would be like watching a wonderfully choreographed conversation piece, an artful presentation of fluidity.

then again, speech itself is an artform. conveying the intended message across is an artform. manipulating the thought patterns of others so as to derive to an expected conclusion is an artform. it’s not lying per say, it’s reasoning. anyway, i’m in the firm belief that if it doesn’t hurt anyone and at the same time it’s fun for everyone, it’s encouraged.

feeling the approaching chinese new year, i can’t help but recall back the last chinese new year i had celebrated at my uncle’s place. the family was there – cousins, aunts, grandma and girlfriends (not mine!). and what started as a fun 1 to 1 show to a stranger suddenly escalated to a full-blown center of attention performance. by show, i meant a trick. a simple yet elegant magic trick. an audience of 1 turned to a mob of 20 in under 5 minutes. i’m talking kids to adults flocking around me waiting for the result of the half-way performed trick*. talk about tense!

it went well. the feeling was undescribable. i saw a monster in me that day. a monster potential which holds possibilities that would no doubt enrich my life and expand my knowledge base. at worst, what awaits me at the bottom of the ladder would be a social entertainer. at best? who’s to say what i can’t achieve? a public speaker? a lifestyle advisor? an actor? hey, if i’m aiming to pull the trigger, i best shoot for the stars, no?

so now i’m at an impasse. with chinese new year fast approaching, my bag of tricks is patheticly empty. my train of thoughts is devoted more towards getting myself a nifty new toy (a notebook tablet) than focusing on self-improvement. the god of laziness is fast encroaching me.

i need help!

*for more info on the trick, feel free to inquire personally via email, phone, snail mail etc. devulging it online would spoil the fun.

WUZ PLAYIN AROUND WIF PICTUREZ AN FOTOSHOP
CAME UP WIF THEES


puss-in-boots to be replaced? step aside antonio!


heavy makeup, really heavy.


potty has its uses.

HER IZ HELPFUL TRANZLATOR
ALL U NED NAO IZ CUTE PICCHUR
GIV IT TRY 2, ITZ FUN


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disclaimer

u can regard everything here as fiction, or fanfiction (me being my own fan haha), or messed up ramblings from the deranged mind of a guy in his midlife crisis. whatever. comment as u see fit. the brainless ones go to /purgatory, not that i'm saying ur a zombie. then again seeing as i'm not getting much sleep lately, i probably am one. that said, u'll realise that u can't take legal action against a zombie. cause we've gots diplomatic immuniteh. rawr.

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