a K h o

scary lonely

Posted on: December 24, 2007

it’s not that bad when i realize that i started speaking to myself, often. but i figured i’m crossing the line when the act of serenading to myself comes into the equation. gosh, it only took a few days. having the house all to myself seemed like an ideal situation. i prepare my own meals, i do my own laundry, i watch my own tv, i laugh, cry, sing – alone. it was fun at first blasting trance music in the middle of the night, gouging on my favorite junk foods and downing carbonated drinks one after another, but then things seems to go downhill by the day.

the difference with having parents around the house is evident. i seldom ever have to think about what to eat next. now breakfast, lunch and dinner is an ordeal. should i just cook in or take out. maybe combine breakfast and lunch to save some hassle. perhaps skip dinner and live on snacks instead. decisions!

i’ve been immersing myself with tv series, korean dramas and anime comedies to keep my sanity in check. playing online games has suddenly lost its flavor. staying alone made me realize that i easily spook at unidentified shadows lurking around every corner. this is due primarily to poor lighting – cause no point having so many lights on when i’m one person staying alone, right. i guess i scare myself.

funnily enough, i find doing my daily chores of taking in the newspaper and watering mom’s orchids is pleasant. peace of mind that there is a mediocre of normalcy in my life that i can cling to when parents are not around. everything else i do at the moment screams utter chaos. no responsibilities, no direction, no worries.

two days ago i drove around town looking for laksa (late branch, that is breakfast + lunch) but ended up going back near my home area and bought chicken rice instead. talk about wasting time, fuel and ended up having an unsatisfactory meal. yesterday i wanted to buy roasted chicken at parkson, but ended up getting sister popiah instead. i am so lost.

hmm…i was planning to get roasted chicken today for dinner, now as i’m typing this i’m changing my mind again to laksa. heh. so indecisive!

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disclaimer

u can regard everything here as fiction, or fanfiction (me being my own fan haha), or messed up ramblings from the deranged mind of a guy in his midlife crisis. whatever. comment as u see fit. the brainless ones go to /purgatory, not that i'm saying ur a zombie. then again seeing as i'm not getting much sleep lately, i probably am one. that said, u'll realise that u can't take legal action against a zombie. cause we've gots diplomatic immuniteh. rawr.

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