a K h o

Hilarious McDonald’s Application

Posted on: March 8, 2007

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida……..and they hired him because he was so honest and funny !

Name: Greg Bulmash
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired Position: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes.
Last Position Held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I’m worth.
Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Reason For Leaving: It sucked.
Hours Available To Work: Any.
Preferred Hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Do You Have Any Special Skills?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
May We Contact Your Current Employer?: If I had one, would I be here?
Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Lifting Up To 50 Lbs?: Of what?
Do You Have A Car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
Have You Received Any Special Awards Or Recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Do You Smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
Do you Certify That The Above Is True And Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.
Sign Here: Aries.

i love it! we should all learn to be less serious now and then.
taken from Things you don’t see every day.

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4 Responses to "Hilarious McDonald’s Application"

It’s an urban legend. I wrote the original (some of the answers have been changed as it’s traveled the web over the last 10 years) as a joke for my site in 1997.

You can find the story behind the urban legend by searching for my name at snopes.com

The original can be viewed as the April 10, 1997 column at bulmash.com

extremely honest ;)

Thanks Greg for the update :)

Wow! Greg goes around tracking down whoever posted ‘his joke’. And for the last 10 years? That’s darn serious man!

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disclaimer

u can regard everything here as fiction, or fanfiction (me being my own fan haha), or messed up ramblings from the deranged mind of a guy in his midlife crisis. whatever. comment as u see fit. the brainless ones go to /purgatory, not that i'm saying ur a zombie. then again seeing as i'm not getting much sleep lately, i probably am one. that said, u'll realise that u can't take legal action against a zombie. cause we've gots diplomatic immuniteh. rawr.

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